Get the beer out first!

The biggest piece of advise I could ever give you, if there’s an emergency is:
Get the beer out first!

We know the world’s going to hell in a handbag. But, I can’t emphasized how important this point is. Be it a flood, a tornado, and earthquake, a fire, or any other national disaster. Or, for that matter if your partner is chasing you around the living room with a machete. ALWAYS, under all circumstances, save what’s important first.

You can leave the kids, the dogs and grandma and grandpa and those cherished family photographs. That can all be replaced. BUT . .

RULE No. 1 – Get the BEER out first !

You’re going to need it when you’re all stress out about how to stay alive and that kinda shit.

Certainly, you must remember, during the great floods of 2011, when the river banks were bursting and you were isolated without power.

All the bottled water and batteries aren’t gonna do diddly squat about you coping a buzz during a disaster.

And not to mention the fact that, when there’s a tree down over the road, the liquor stores just that much further away. I’ve even heard of them closing down doors during a major catastrophe, if you can believe that.

You can light a candle and get munch on your army ration saltines. But that ain’t gonna get you to your dealer, is it?

And you say, “Well, we don’t live on a flood plain.” or “This isn’t the tornado belt.” Ha, you’re the ones that are going to get caught out, bet your bottom dollar. That’s why I suggest, as well, that you are pretty well blathered at all hours of the day and night in case calamity comes your way. Steels the nerves, mate.

So, repeat after me, folks. Get the BEER out first !

Happy As Larry is Finished. Very exciting.

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I am very happy to announce that my new book, Happy As Larry is available for sale. The book was a blast to write and I hope you enjoy reading it. A crazy bunch of characters getting into all sorts of trouble. Thanks for your support. If you like the book, spread the word.

Brief Synopsis:

Slim Fitz has just turned 50. She is busy planning her wedding, her 6th marriage, to Larry Famosa. He is the love of her life, even though he shot her the year before. The wedding is to take place in the Florida State Prison, where Larry is a prisoner. Soooo romantic.

After an altercation at the local Costco, Slim is sent to a mental hospital, in hope that after some treatment, she will be sane enough to stand trial for assault. Being trapped in the nuthouse is terrible timing, because she has so much to do to get ready for her big day. To pass the time, Slim becomes lovers with her cellmate Libby and her most trusted psychiatrist.

Unable to find Slim, her parents work the media, to gain attention as grieving parents. But, their 15 minutes are up when Slim comes back into their lives.

Slim escapes the mental hospital, only to find out that she no longer has a home. So, she moves into a room over a Chinese restaurant owned by Wing, a master businessman. There she finds her calling, as a Country & Western singer.

It’s hard to focus on wedding plans through the haze of booze and drugs, the seedy sex, shootings and car chases. So much to do when you’re working with a Cuban crime gang.

Happy as Larry is a fun-filled romp through the modern times of greed, reality TV and social networking. A gender-bending morality tale, about life and death. What ever you do, don’t trust anyone. Partcularly those you’re closest to.

A satire that cuts to the bone.

And a bloody good laugh!

Buy the book at the link below. All formats of ebooks, epub, Sony, Barnes & Noble, Apple, PDF. 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/144973

Would love to hear from you. Drop me a line.